We fill our mind with sound, so we can't hear our internal screaming

I'm baaaaaaaaaack!!!!! I can't disclose where I have been for the last few weeks, until I get the go-ahead from the producers.

Here's me:

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I found silence. She was hiding in plain sight but I chose not to hear her.

Silence is ever an allusive creature. When I called to her, she came to me, but I was the one who left in the end.

I was scared.

I was scared of accepting her because I knew I would never re-emerge the same.

I carefully crafted my formulated life on the belief of concessions.

Who was I to be discontent with my empire of dirt? I built the future with the notion I could not have it all. That I should be grateful for what was given to me from the hands of those who are more superior than me.

I raged my war against oppression with my voice as my only weapon. Knowing I was a lamb going in for the slaughter. I sacrificed my life to stand before my so called maker. I stared in the eyes of the man, as he looked beyond me. He sentenced my life to death with no conscience sparking in his bleak disposition.

I searched for my asylum, seeking refuge in the comforts of distractions filled with noise.

Then, at my weakest moment, I called to her. My sweet silence. I asked her to forgive me.

Forgive me for not forgiving myself. I grew calloused while she watched the light of the world drip away from my heart.

My fortress was re-enforced with hate. A stronghold no man could break into with weapons of their own.

And then he heard me, when I spoke no words. He shared his silence with my timid soul and asked for nothing in return.

I have been deconstructed. The raging anger soothed with peaceful rains.

I am not different but I am not the same person. I realize now, that I must go. I can do the impossible. I can have it all.

Until the next post!

Cheri